There’s something strange about today, I felt it as soon as opened my eyes for the hundredth time like the last bits of a storm; misty, cold and gloomy at the best of parts. Something hung over me that’s curving my ability to smile. With that, I know it’s going to be a tough day in the mind of Molly Shepherd and up to now (20:37) I was/ am extremely right in that this day has been pretty much terrible.
Today I came across an unusually sad bridge, a bridge I used to know as a funny story or a an easy access to a woodland route. A bridge that’s alone in dark damp climates, something out of a horror movie or where the troll lives. But to think about it I don’t believe this particular bridge would make this big story piece. I couldn’t help myself but sit on this incredibly depressing bridge and think about the whole wrongs that have become my life (a little overreaction never hurt) think about where I’m heading in life and what my general happiness is. Did it make my day better? Easier? or less stressed? No, it didn’t actually it could have possibly made it worse. I sat there without any idea of why suddenly I was this sad.
Although, today has brought a new thing for me. I’ve had my hair out of my face while at work. I can hear the confusion and murmuring sniggers of false achievement. But this actually such a big deal as an extreme self-hated person I’ve never liked my face, never liked my hair up and definitely didn’t like change . But needs must of horrible hair day I went with it anyway.
As soon as it went up the problems started. (silly problems at that ) Let’s start with the simplest my ears were freezing. Understandable when never have they ever felt the fresh air. My hair was revealing an unsightly headache, or maybe that was the stress of having nothing but a £3.30 paycheck and a hopeless view of the world. No idea where to turn with so many directions to turn into. I completely understand that because I’m young I should be going round and trying many different things before I pick my one try path in life.
But I guess I can’t physically wing it, I can’t have my life going one from another without finding my own path.I’m hopelessly looking for the perfect life I’ve grown to expect but now I know it’s not going to happen that easily as over this past week I have learnt that life blows.